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2017

Email and call monitoring

  • Knowing I’m feeling suicidal.
  • Them knowing why and believing I’ll never know.
  • The perfect victim.
  • Is it possibly they intercepted emails between myself and my mother, or is she truly evil.

Mail order drug addiction

  • I change the medication in an attempt to stop putting on weight.
  • I start feeling extraordinarily anxious.
  • My mother offers me some valium.
  • It works.
  • I stop taking the prescription medication but continue taking valium.
  • I become horribly addicted to it.
  • I wonder about the true source of this medication and whether criminal gangs familiar to this story might have something to do with its distribution via Royal Mail.

A weird Spanish teacher

  • Cervantes centre

Sandra at Lourdes

  • I bump into Sandra at Lourdes in the queue for the baths.
  • She makes a huge deal about the “coincidence” of our meeting.
  • She overdoes it.
  • Nevertheless, we hang out a little.
  • She tells me she is working at a primary school in Paris as an elementary teacher.
  • In later years when I meet her, she has left this job due to burn-out.
  • She shows me a picture of her class.

Rape crisis Hornsey

  • The Metropolitan Police refer me to the Rape Crisis centre in Hornsey.
  • I’m on the waiting list for a therapist. I’m told it could take over year to get to the front of the queue.
  • In the meantime, I attend group therapy.
  • It may be the first session I attend. As I’m approaching the Rape Crisis building a man circles me on a bicycle. It is Winston M’s accomplice from 1989. The man I could never remember the name of.
  • Online hacking gangs from Denia tell me his name in 2026: Busby.
  • Of course it was Busby.
  • Winston May never stopped going on about Busby.
  • He is extremely skinny. His legs are like sticks. He looks unwell; like he has been doing hard drugs for decades. I am in no doubt about who he is.
  • I take my place in the circle.
  • As we begin, the facilitator says to the group of women “just be aware that there could be a police officer here today”.
  • I tell the group what happened and who I saw, and how it made me feel, which was very anxious. I’m hyperventilating a little.
  • One of the women at this session does not return for any other sessions.
  • I can only explain this as an impromptu line up, and I most certainly pointed out the true perp.

Applying for the Met

  • I apply for the Metropolitan Police. I was so impressed by the women that interviewed me this time around, I want to be just like them.
  • I pass the first interview.
  • I’m called for the physical but I know I’ll fail because of the valium so I don’t go.