1999

Alan, Alan? WhoTF is Alan?

• It all feels like frills now… but let’s not forget about Alan.

We have to make a few safe assumptions here

1. Criminal gangs knew about the Lockerbie compensation by the summer of 1999.
2. Everyone in the world (including Paul, Matthew, Brian, Lea, Chris L, my dad and brother, North London’s finest, every last one of them, police porn-subscribers, etc.) - apart from me - knows I was in sedated pedo-rape porn when I was a kid even, perhaps, some female friends. They can say just a few words to me - such as the Leeds lot did in 1993 when they said repeatedly “there were six of them”, and giggle - and I’d go into a full on panic attack. These girls were close to the Islamic rape-gangs up North at that time - did they point me out to the girls, did they tell them what to say to me - and a single lone female pariah who didn’t know what had happened to her, and exhibited strong trauma reactions so that you could bully her endlessly, and point and laugh, and keep her very much in hell where the porn gangs want her, was probably common and acceptable behavior, I’m guessing.
3. The gangs had to get me out of 31 and on to Spain, somehow, and to do that they needed to make my life in London intolerable.

• In steps Alan.
• Alan is a small-time North-London petty crook and drug dealer (at least this is how I knew him at the time): a man most certainly not to be trusted.
• I drink a lot of alcohol at the weekends.
• In fact, I can’t really socialize without it, so I go out and drink too much and behave like an idiot and at least I have some friends, who laugh at me but I don’t care.
• I go out often with a bunch of folk from North Finchley.
• I worked with a scouser Helen Power at a firm called Newcrest in Finchley Central in 1996 - Ray ended up working there and his New Zealand girlfriend was working in the offices just beside us and they shared a reception with our office and I think that’s how he met her, working on reception.
• Me and Helen became friends and often went out drinking.
• In the summer of 1999, I went out drinking with Helen.
• Alan was there.
• We all went back to Helen’s after and drank more.
• There may have been a love-triangle thing going on too with another scouse boy who I fancied.
• I had just split up with my boyfriend Byron.
• He had stopped contacting me, so I split up with him when he came down to London next, and he pretended to be upset.
• I now think he was told to ditch me.
• I was really upset about it, we’d been together three years.
• I was emotionally unstable because of that, and drinking more, and there was this nice looking scouser (gypsy characteristics) hanging around, a bit love-triangly looking back..
• And Alan says he’s got some drink, let’s me and him go back to his.
• The others are really really drunk and not communicating.
• And Alan’s really putting it on, and I tended to agree with everyone all the time at that stage of my life, so I end up going back to Alan’s house for another drink.
• Alan’s girlfriend (Kim was it? can’t remember, a lady of very Mediterranean-appearance) was at a work’s function that night apparently and was not there.
• And we had a few drinks and I got a taxi and went home.
• The next day I meet everyone at the pub that was there the night before.
• Kim, let’s call her, was there scowling at me.
• I had no idea why.
• It turns out there was a big jar of pound coins in her flat with hundreds of pounds in it and I have apparently stolen them the night before!
• I am absolutely stunned.
• I never get over it.
• Everyone believes the men that I’m a thief.
• It’s really one of the most hurtful things that’s ever happened to me.
• Alan’s mate becomes Helen’s boyfriend.
• He runs an independent pub in North Finchley and she lives with him across the road in his house in a residential street.
• I bumped into Helen in 2017 when I was interviewing for Goldman’s.
• She was working in East Finchley.
• We went out for a meal in North Finchley - I’d forgotten about everything that had happened and just saw Helen.
• But when I went round to meet her, he wouldn’t let me in the house.
• And slowly I started to remember and told her I couldn’t see her anymore because what had happened with Alan was one of the most hurtful things to ever happen to me.
• And she said; oh but that Kim was weird, like it was all the woman’s fault - I suspect she was 100% involved.
• And I asked; do you still see Alan, and she said he came round from time to time, and I apologized and cut all contact off with her.
• And I’m on the Internet a lot at that time..
• I quit my job new at the BBC after just a few weeks too; unstable behavior, or manipulated behavior maybe.
• I’ve decided I’ll go on a short holiday to Spain where I meet a “boyfriend” and decide to go and live with him in Holland which I do at the end of the year.
• Patrick from Alkmaar charges me three times the rent he pays for the same property he’s living in, and treats me as if I’m dirt on his shoe.
• Porn gang activity?
• I’d put money on it, wouldn’t you?
• His sister has a seriously dodgy boyfriend who has male friends who are extremely weird with me, aggressive even.
• Patrick’s dad gives me that look and touches me a little bit inappropriately, doing up my zip or a button on my coat something very weird.
• Patrick shows me photos of him and his mates which look like a pre-porn session.
• The sister’s cat falls off the balcony and dies.
• A very dodgy lot.
• I’d put money on them all knowing I was in the pedo-porn.
• I end up nearly dying of blood poisoning after a wisdom tooth extraction goes wrong in Alkmaar in early 2000, but this turns out to be a blessing as I get away from these dreadful people, move to Amsterdam, and unfortunately get systemic-candida from the elephant-strength intravenous antibiotics I was given that saved my life, and this illness propels me into true life-saving mode (I don’t think I’ve left this mode since).
• It was the beginning of my spiritual journey, but it took time to get seriously ill with candida, and before I do get sick - coinciding with getting some money interestingly - Brian, Ugly, and the gang famously do their worst in Amsterdam… and try to set the tone for the rest of my life… or until they film the snuff-porn they’re already planning for me, I’m guessing.
• I’m right though aren’t I.
• How many others: who and where from, names and ages, and what was it that made them safe to target?