July 2025

Delivery man sniggers at me

• A delivery man brings a package for a family member.
• I answer the door.
• He’s holding his phone in one hand and the package in the other, which he hands to me.
• He looks at me, grinning and sniggering in a perverted way.
• It’s as if he knows who I am.
• Does he have a dark-web porn subscription to live-target action genres?

ChatGPT

• ChatGPT breaks for me whenever I’m drawing something explosive.
• Whenever ChatGPT draws an image as if it was there at the time, such as with the smug guy at the conservatory, I get weird responses online, or I am denied access to ChatGPT for 720 hours.
• This is on desktop only.

The woman at the Red Lion

• Dad and I go to the Red Lion in High Barnet for a Sunday dinner.
• We sit down in the empty seating area.
• A woman comes in right behind us and sits close by to us while I’m getting dad sat down.
• She’s blond, late 50s, pale, chatty.
• She talks at us.
• She is over-talkative, in fact, but not in a friendly way.
• She reminds me of the white man interrogating the group of British Islamic Asian men that had sat right next to us in March in another completely empty seating area.
• They could be related; her son maybe, or younger brother?
• They have the same manner of speaking.
• I go and get our dinners, leaving dad alone with the woman.
• When I bring the dinners back, the waitress is taking her order.
• She calls the woman by her first name; Claire maybe.
• Dad seems cowed, a bit scared of her.
• He tells me that she kept saying things to him he didn’t like.
• He says he thinks she’s the boss.
• I tell him not to worry about her, and that I won’t leave him alone with her.
• I wonder if I started feeling high again at that moment…
• As dad and I leave, we have to walk past the woman.
• As I pass her, she makes an unnecessary hand-gesture to me; the prayer gesture that the Thai’s and Indian’s make to each other after speaking; a specific thing I did often at the conservatory that teachers and staff jeered at and persecuted me about.
• I note it.
• Just like the man from March, she had the air of someone who only speaks to people who are very afraid of her.

Dad is unable to go to Lourdes with me

• Dad was booked up to go to Lourdes with me.
• A few days later, he poos himself disastrously and I tell him I can’t deal with it.
• We cancel his trip and I decide to go alone instead.

Dad tells me he’s a spy cop

• The Sunday before I leave on my own for Lourdes, dad and I go for a dinner at the Claddagh Ring.
• He’s very candid with me this evening.
• He tells me he thinks his brother abused my aunt Bernadette and I’ve had enough of hearing about this sort of thing and get angry with him.
• He tells me he’s a spy cop.
• Not a spy cop exactly, a spy robber would be a better term.
• He tells me he married my mother on request by the British government.
• He suggests it could have been any woman but he picked her for some reason.
• I suspect because she’s very easily manipulated.
• I don’t know why he’s telling me this at this time. It’s high treason. Unless he’s told someone else already and he’s worried about it coming out.
• It was tense times in Belfast Northern Ireland when they met and they were both studying at Queen’s University.
• He doesn’t say if he was paid or if he had to do it to avoid jail for some perversion they had him on.
• I tell him I get it, it’s what countries do to protect themselves. I can’t imagine they got anything from him though and this vile act of deception destroyed us all.
• The news is unsurprising, rather liberating in fact.
• Suddenly, my life experiences make total sense.
• What he doesn’t say is if he told the porn gangs of Dénia stating that no-one would ever investigate anything that happened to me.
• Is that why he’s worried about it coming out now?
• Or did the woman in the Red Lion tell him not to go to Lourdes with me because they were going to finish me off and he was getting an enormous weight off his chest with someone he felt would never be able to tell?
• I got the date wrong on this on the initial commit but then remembered it had to have been before I left for Lourdes.
• Did his untouchable status make him capable of unspeakable evil?
• Did my dad boast about this to the wrong people over the years, about how his daughter would have no humans rights if anything happened to her?
• I wonder if they all knew they could do whatever they like to me, including murder, and no-one would lift a finger.
• Did he very literally throw us to the wolves?
• When I think back to 1989, it does seem we were targeted, prepped, and groomed for a few months on the run up to the production of repeated sedated rape-gang porn with groups of black men on their mothers’ kitchen tables and elsewhere in London.
• They must have made millions on the films and, like in Dénia, the massive resources spent on producing this porn and terrorizing its star(s) would have been well worth it for a criminal enterprise.
• Did the rape-gangs of North London know it was safe to target me because of my dad’s secret life?
• Did the people at the Red Lion share the porn with him afterwards back in 1989?
• Is that why when I was broken and suffering from PTSD as a child, and would come home at night devastated after being bullied and jeered at yet again by my friends, he would sit there, drunk, and giggle, yes that giggle again, as if he knew something about what had happened and it delighted him?
• Is this why he and my mother blamed my black friend for everything that had happened to me?
• Not everyone knew about this, of course, or they wouldn’t have bothered trying to punish him for his various evils through targeting me.
• It clears up why everyone is warned off me more recently, notably when I stood for election in June 2024 and it was obvious I had been massively discredited and I no idea why.
• The truth is liberating but very upsetting at times.
• And he’s not getting anything off his chest. He’s telling me why I’m about to be murdered, without really telling me why. Is it a sick apology in advance.

Lourdes

• I visit Lourdes.
• As I check into my hotel, the Arcades, two people walk past me after speaking with reception.
• One of those people is the woman to the left of this pic.
• She speaks perfect French to the receptionist.
• She is walking on crutches.

• Later, on X, she introduces herself as Taya.
• At the hotel, she is with a tech I suppose; a man of about 20 with black hair and very pale skin.
• He is dressed in black.
• The following day, they come to the restaurant for dinner, just after I have arrived to eat.
• She no longer has crutches.
• As she walks past the waitress, she says something like “oh, I don’t need my crutches anymore, it must be a miracle”.
• I see the waitress sort of whirl backwards a bit as they brush past her.
• The waitress goes off sick and doesn’t return.
• It is now 7 days she is off sick. She had a very bad cough. This might be irrelevant.
• I believe it is highly likely these two came into my room to add substances to my toiletries or whatever it is they do.
• They must be going equipped at all times.
• My eye health has deteriorated massively this week in Lourdes.
• Having been to police and doctors all over Europe about being stalked and poisoned over the last years, my sudden-onset pre-glaucoma condition amongst other things, and literally no-one wants to help me, I have no other option but to write it down.
• Are they trying to blind me so that I can’t continue to write?
• There is a lot of activity on X, especially after I post a response to all this.

• Some threatening follows also.

• I have seen this profile photo before during menacing communications.
• I check the profile message.

• The message, “Ugly”, I presume to be reference to being followed the previous summer in Lourdes and Cauterets, something I already wrote about, and maybe posted about, we will see.

Constant confirmation I’m being watched

• Over these 10 days in Lourdes I see posts and account messages confirming I’m being watched, and very closely too.
• I see posts referring to my belly size which makes me think they’ve installed a spy-cam in my room.
• I see posts related to how I look, what I’m wearing, things in the town, decorations at the hotel, the amount of mosquitoes in the hotel.
• It’s endless.

Videos

• I tried to get videos of them at dinner.
• I added the videos I did get to the repo:
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3

Spy cam

• I bought a spy cam for my trip so that I can see if anyone unusual is coming into my hotel room.
• It has no network connectivity so it cannot be hacked, I assume.
• The date setting of videos defaults to 2017.
• I cannot change the date.txt file as it is in Chinese.
• I test the device for a few days and it works well, maintaining the 2017 date.
• It picks up the cleaners coming in for 10 minutes and doing a quick towel change and making the bed.
• The evening after I see these two in the hotel restaurant, I check the device.
• There is a video of me leaving the room, as normal, and coming back, as normal.
• The cleaners didn’t come that day.
• During an hour’s period while I’m out, there are 10 new videos.
• Each one is a still of the room, there is no movement in it at all.
• I assume this is when those two came in.
• Also, the date has been changed on the device to 27^th November 2023.
• I check this date online.
• It is a Monday during the dizzy heights of intense drugging, cyber-stalking, and terror at the conservatory.
• Notably, on this day I do not post at all in the evening.
• I do post first thing on Tuesday morning with a song in my head.

• Was 27^th December an evening in which I was sedated and people came into my apartment to abuse me on camera?
• Was my choice of song afterwards significant?
• I’m obviously feeling extraordinarily stressed.

• Having spent a few days in the mountains struggling to walk, I now believe they picked this date to inform me they had gone for my heart this time.

Eyes and kidneys, again, and heart now too?

• In service at the baths at Lourdes, I startlingly notice how poor my left peripheral vision has become.
• I’m just not seeing things I should be seeing; someone’s coat dropping to the floor right beside me, movement of pilgrims in the baths, and other things.
• Not only that, but I missed seeing a giant crack on my left windshield that was caused by something falling during rough seas on the boat.
• Even though the Brittany Ferries operative came over with a clipboard - I now realize to take the information - I hadn’t seen the crack yet so I didn’t know why he was hovering around looking like he wanted to talk to me, and then just sort of wandered off looking a bit silly.
• I noticed the crack in the bright sunlight about an hour later on the road.
• It’s even more surprising because Moorfields gave me a somewhat clean bill of health just a couple of months ago.
• I write to them, concerned.
• As I’m writing to Moorfields, a hacker says sorry in the spell check options.

• I write about this in the August 2024 section the first time a hacker said sorry to me when I mention being poisoned.
• On my last day of service to Mary, I have a really big headache which feels like it is going to become a migraine and is effecting my eyes and vision.
• I have to come back to my room and skip the afternoon service.
• Curiously, this is right after a very bizarre meeting with a member of the British hospitalite.
• The following day, I feel a little better, but after about an hour in the car, I can feel both kidneys are screaming just like they did when I was sitting peacefully in my apartment in Dénia around lunchtimes.
• The next day, my kidneys are still aching, my eyes are blurry, and my vision is extremely poor.
• I can hardly look at bright lights, including a clear sky.
• And that private symptom Ana Girbes had such fun jeering at has returned.
• They certainly got me, yet again.
• Toiletries, toothpaste, moisturizer? Who knows.
• Perhaps they even got into the car where I was keeping water and food.
• What a nightmare.
• I wonder what on earth they get out of it.
• I suspect the woman and her assistant are just following orders, but whose, and for what purpose?
• I suspect the woman has suffered things I couldn’t dream of.

• By my current inability to walk uphill, it appears they went for my heart this time around, and I certainly saw a couple of fake accounts flying by with names or messages containing the words; “finger injections”, i.e. injecting digitalis into my bathroom products or water.

Why now?

• Is whatever sedating rape-gangs use to drug women a powerful hallucinogenic plant, like ayahuasca which, also like ayahuasca, has a full come-back-down-to-normal duration of around six-to-eight months.
• This is what I noticed about the effects of the plant when I tried ayahuasca around 2005 to help me access blocked memories from sedated experiences in 1989.
• Did criminal gangs have to dose me up again, or finish me off, so I wouldn’t remember, or get clear about, the four distinct men posing as one man, the trumpet teacher, Vidal Sastre Sanchez Hornero?
• When I look over this statement, I realize that I have been looking at photos of these very different men since June 2023 and believing them to be one man until I got suddenly clear-headed in September 2025.
• It wore off, didn’t it.
• I guess targets rarely get free for long enough for it to wear off.
• Is that why targets end up long-term on something from their GP which is, perhaps, not what it says it is on the label?

Moorfields

• I write to Moorfields extremely concerned about the sudden onset vision loss in my left peripheral.
• I’m walking in the mountains, like I do every year, and I simply can’t see things on the left side.
• Even the right side is different than before.
• When I compare my sight to a year before in September when I was doing the same thing, it’s obvious my eyes have suffered some serious harm.
• I believe this eye problem comes from poisoning in my apartment by my neighbors at Carrer Furs, and Carmen Cano and her associates in October 2024.
• I mention the appointment with Moorfields in March and that I felt unconvinced by the results.
• I mention the diagnosis at Rutnin from November 2024.
• They are giving me the run around; they can’t find my files now.
• Does the global spy-cam porn conspiracy extend so far that even the British government are prepared to cover up the systematic targeting of women and children for porn and worse for decades in Spain?
• Do they think that, perhaps, once society is totally immoral no-one will care anyway and they won’t have to worry about ignoring 1000s of complaints, probably Lorraine Blackbourn’s too.
• Is the conspiracy wrapped up in the medical-transitioning of children scandal too?
• Is this why whenever I desperately tried to get help from the UK embassy or foreign office, they ignored me, even put the phone down on me?
• Is this why the Metropolitan Police might as well have told me I’m an idiot, knowing full well I’m a rape-gang survivor?
• Is this why Spanish gangs feel 100% completely safe, and don’t even care about leaving an evidential trail that a blind cat on catnip could follow?
• Do they know they are protected at the highest level?
• They must know it can’t go on forever.
• Will I simply end up dead in suspicious circumstances, like Lorraine, like everyone else who complains?
• My heart says I will survive even this.
• I hope so, we’ve lots to get through and the world is insane in very dangerous ways now and something has to change.

More transvestites at Lourdes?

• I’m serving at Lourdes and as part of service you have to fulfil a few formalities and training.
• I have two trainings assigned.
• On the Tuesday of service, I go to the training centre for the first training.
• A woman called Kathleen is running the trainings for the English-speakers this week. It rotates depending on who is in Lourdes at the time.
• She is an enormous woman in her seventies probably. Huge.
• She reminds me of an orangutan.
• I’m about 2 minutes late and there is some discussion about lateness being disrespectful.
• Myself and a young man who works at M&S (I forget his name but he volunteers on the main plateau and I saw him standing there one afternoon and said hi) attend and it’s a great meeting.
• Kathleen explains there is now some safeguarding protocol at the baths.
• I’m delighted to hear this and express it.
• She waves a leaflet at us but doesn’t really go into how we might report concerns.
• I ask her if there is any way to report concerns anonymously to someone prior to reporting formally. The reason I ask is because of my experiences with men in the women’s baths over the years, and being forcibly kissed by a male volunteer one summer.
• Kathleen says, certainly there is such a function in the French side of the hospitalite, but not yet in the British.
• After the meeting, Kathleen and I chat a bit about how AI might help the hospitalite with video tasks which have been historically time-consuming and difficult to manage.
• I go for my second and last training on the Friday morning.
• Kathleen is 10 minutes late to the meeting, I’m waiting outside. It seems I’m the only attendee.
• She arrives and we go in.
• I’m not sure where to sit, so I bring a chair a bit closer to her otherwise we’d be at opposite ends of the room.
• Kathleen says: “You can sit on my knee if you like.”
• I say, strongly: “That won’t be necessary,” and move to the opposite side of the room.
• I see her grin.
• I suddenly start wondering about Kathleen.
• Next, a young British Indian woman comes into the meeting, sits next to Kathleen, and starts talking in an outrageously posh manner.
• It’s a bit weird.
• Kathleen says to me, oh, this lady is in tech, she understands AI etc.
• I explain what I know about an exemplary AI video platform I recently saw demoed.
• The Indian lady shuts me down with some ideas about how processing power is a real issue for AI systems and I’m sure she means privacy.
• I note it.
• Kathleen talks about people feeling inferior.
• I note it.
• Kathleen then asks me about my experience this week regarding reverence for Mary and the sanctuary.
• I notice the Indian woman is looking a little nervous.
• I say: “I believe the sanctuary is sacred space, and from the moment you enter, anything that happens is important and governed by Mary.”
• The Indian woman’s legs are shaking so hard she puts her bag in front of the chair.
• I give an AI platform recommendation to the Indian woman and ask her to write it down, and explain that she can get a contract lawyer to go over any privacy details (which is probably what she was trying to say).
• The meeting ends and I get an immediate headache and start feeling unwell; symptoms of poisoning rising to the surface.
• Later, I realize that Kathleen could very well be a man and therefore his/her comment about sitting on her/his knee was even more toxic.

Serving at the baths

• While all this craziness was going on, I went into the baths, morning and afternoon, to serve Our Lady and assist the sick and faithful.
• It was beautiful and I felt like I was existing in a world very close to Heaven.
• The evil around me could not get in until that last meeting, at which point I started to notice effects of poisoning, although most likely I had been ingesting the same poison for the whole week.
• Prior to that, every second in the baths was a blessing.
• The little bird that flew in and needed rescuing.
• The beautiful team from Napoli who I adored.
• Every woman I worked with.
• My appalling attempts at leading the Spanish prayers.
• My less appalling attempts at leading the English prayers.
• Everyone I met and interacted with.
• Singing in the choir on St Mary Magdalena’s feast day.
• My Spanish partner one afternoon who gently put the holy water on the Alzheimer sufferer’s lips, and for a moment he went calm and looked at me as we prayed.
• The Hindu lady who came to see Mary and ask for healing.
• The families, the single people, the man who had been cured miraculously in 2021 and now sings in the choir and tells everyone his story.
• I asked Mary for guidance, for clarification on the love I feel for this man who has taken over my daily thoughts since December 2022.
• Could such a powerful feeling that never lets up be all from drugs and manipulation, I asked her?
• She replied no, not all.

More threats

• I also see threatening pics on my mobile device which remind me very much of the violent threats I received on X in March 2024.

• I can’t describe how exhausting it is to be constantly stalked by multiple gypsies who probably don’t even know the why of it anymore.
• If I didn’t have God, I’d fear their murderous and vile intentions, and from time to time I do fear it.
• I pray all this is over soon.

The Benijembla woman

• In November 2022, while walking with the English ladies, a choreographed scene was set up for my benefit.
• I write about it here.
• I noticed a woman with the trumpet teacher on that afternoon.
• I see pictures of her on X, again and again, in profile photos and elsewhere.
• Even in July 2025, hackers post her pic.
• Here’s a couple.

• I’m led to believe it is TT’s wife - the dangerous TT - but it’s never clear what they want me to think.
• The implication is usually that she’s been doing porn.
• I may even have an X account with a profile picture of her as a young girl of about 13 maybe.
• Could this be her too?

• Could her name be Maggie Harrington?

Viscos

• I see the Viscos peak from my temporary chair.
• The lightning feels like a wave back; “I noticed you too”.
• So nice.

Damning updates

• I write a number of damning updates such as Alessandra’s fake illness and Lorraine’s daughter’s online grooming.
• An account follows me immediately afterwards.
• Note they are even able to manipulate the date of the follow to two days previous.

• Phonetically, and translated from French, this sounds like an admission of guilt; “evil us”.