2018¶

My brother works for the gangs¶

He has obviously been tasked with making my life so unpleasant at 31 that I never consider it a safe haven.
This ensures I will return to Denia for the trillion-dollar snuff subscriptions they’ve got planned.
Or was it that I’d marry, they’d murder my father, drug me so it looks like I’m grieving but I’m really just rendered mute with a herds dose of ketamin, and they can then fake a suicide and inherit.
By that time I had half a million… so it would be more than worth it.
If so, then my dad’s choreographer at Sadlers Wells, a Portuguese woman, would have poisoned him with that intention.

Is my brother a Dave Porter character?¶

Having been trained into despising women by Paul Van G et al, Robert was more than ready to get stuck into making my life a misery and so conspiring with the porn gangs for whatever end they had in mind for me.
But did they ask him to do the same with other women? Like they had with Dave Porter all those years previously?
Robert had a couple of Islamic girlfriends.
Do the gangs over the Islamicists the service of a nasty love-bombing boyfriend who might leave them never wanting another boyfriend again.
The gangs are certainly very VERY pally with the Islamicists.
Is this yet another example of their most un-Western and decidedly un-British activities in support of the Islamic takeover of the West?

July 2017 to January 2019¶

I’ve become completely dependent on valium. I cannot go to work and be around people without it due to the anxiety I’m suffering.
I am trying to micro-dose as much as possible but I need it every day.
It is valium bought online so I’m not even sure what it is exactly.
My family is impossible to live with.

2018¶

A level tutorials¶

I did a lot of online tutorials.
There was a curious hardware incident one time where whenever I burped, or whatever was going on inside my belly was repeated into my earphones.
I said to my student: sorry, did you hear that, when I burped and it was like thunder.
And he didn’t seem to notice.
Wow!
Relationship <3
Family.

A student with a rape database¶

One of my students in East Finchley had an excel database of girls he was going to rape.
It depressed me immensely.
His friend in Muswell Hill then scheduled one class with me, and took the piss throughout as if he was amazed I knew anything, then canceled classes right after.
I felt like a side-show freak with this rude boy.
His friend was a nice boy, apart from the rape database which he seemed to have shown me on purpose by accident.
Did these rich boys due to take their place in the tech-bro priesthood over the next years already have criminal porn subscriptions?
Or do the foolish boys, with nothing in the world to tell them it’s a very bad idea, get to log in for free, locking themselves into conspiracy, blackmail, and exploitation (depression and a higher chance of suicide) for the rest of their lives?

September 2018¶

Hired for sport, again¶

I start contracting for a company called Adaptive in the city on Tuesday 28^th August after the late summer bank holiday.
I interview really well, splendidly, the job sounds amazing, I’m going to be doing so much interesting work, the day rate is fantastic, everyone is so nice, I’m delighted.
The first day, the persecution begins.
It’s my first morning in the office, I’ve been there 10 minutes, and I’m being introduced to everyone.
Harsha, a close colleague, has not even said hello or introduced himself yet.
He looks at me in an unfriendly way, and he rubs his chin and shakes his head a little, making an expression that says very clearly: I have no faith in you.
From that moment, I’m the target for bullying, from all sides.
An hour has not yet gone by in my new role.
At lunch on the first day, the boss Olivier takes everyone out for lunch because that’s how they welcome newcomers.
Olivier pays for everyone’s lunch, but not mine.
Even the very few women, mostly admin staff, are tasked with mucking in.
Harsha is unusually keen to interrogate me about my PhD and becomes triumphant when he knows more about my subject than I do.
The thing is, I cannot respond to this sort of aggression.
Curiously, I was cyber-stalked by X accounts with that theme during the online oppression from September 2023.
I’m beginning to wonder about your PhD, said one.
It seems that many of those fake accounts that harassed me during this time - and while I was regularly sedated, drugged, and poisoned in my own home - were tech colleagues and the tech-bro pornocracy in general.
At the Adaptive office, I go quiet, trying to figure out what to do.
I know if I complain, they’ll fire me.
I’m seriously unhappy in this role.
I’m pretty much made a secretary again too. It wouldn’t be so bad if they were nice about it, but something else was going on.
One day I’m working from home and I’m requested to attend a meeting in which I’m TOTALLY ignored for two hours.
My brother comes down and says, “made you a secretary again have they?” … and that is also quite curious.
The reason I say that is because at that time, and for many years, my brother utterly despised me and rarely spoke to me at all.
I guess he was following the British porn-gang instructions: make sure she never feels comfortable and safe at home, do whatever you have to do to make sure she moves back to Denia, oh, and here’s some drugs and poisons to keep her confused and scared too., and he’s like, Sure, is dad gonna take mum to Denia again to get raped by the locals? Can I come?
Dear God, please wipe the smug off of all these nasty rapist-faces in spectacular fashion.
This hatred, curiously, began in Thailand and I wonder what really prompted it. You see, we had sort of become friends again in 2009 in Koh Samui, and any male support for an online tech-colleague porn-target would have to be dealt with.
I know he met a British man in Lamai in 2010 (the year of Jitendra Das and Mike Wenham) who egged him into getting extraordinarily high every day and he had a sort of mini-breakdown and I had to go and rescue him with the Thai police.
I wonder if the man who set my brother up with debilitating medication that Christmas in Lamai was the same man who bared his teeth at me in the Spa Resorts restaurant at Christmas 2024.
I guess they targeted my brother so assiduously in 2010 to ensure I have no male support.
Did they keep an open channel of communication with him, that they could rely upon when and if necessary?
Back at Adaptive on one occasion they ask me what I think of Elon Musk.
I tell them I think he’s a bit of a dick, and everyone laughs.
Anyway, I’m fired on the anniversary of a suicide attempt, November 6^th or 7^th.
The very same day.
For no particular reason.
A couple of days before, the women go out for lunch together and they make sure I see that I’m not included.
At the time, I think that they’ve just decided they don’t like me, and they seem to have made that decision the moment I walked through the door.
It’s utterly irrational though. Pure hatred.
I have no clue that this repeated pattern I experience in tech roles could be related to the criminal activities of the Cano Lopez’s and Smith’s in baby-rape capital of the world, Dénia Spain where they now have a functioning porn-studio in a school, and where we’re probably going to find thousands of missing persons, presumed dead, in a field up there.
The tech-bro pornocracy probably don’t care about that, especially those with a taste for the murder-porn.
And no-one’s ever gonna target their kids are they, or is that naive.
Perhaps the porn-gangs do target the kids of the pornocracy, maybe for those valuable incest subscriptions; maybe even very famous kids …
Anyway, this firing is a psycho-emotional blow like no other, and I become immediately severely suicidal.
I’m guessing this is exacerbated online too.
Indeed, for a couple of years online I have been talking a lot about suicide-attempt anniversaries and how difficult they are.
When I say that, I don’t mean publicly either, I mean in private chats with friends or perhaps in personal writings, but mostly in Google searches and research and reading I might do online.
Suicide anniversaries were another theme that came up in 2023 and I can only assume this means a female-tech-colleague porn-target’s suicide is a desired end result.
Perhaps they run polls to see what porn-subscribers would prefer to see happen to their favorite stars, and pay the most for?
Did my tech-colleagues want me to commit suicide? Were they hoping for that? Or did they prefer to see me running around a field naked after a horse?
Would they have snickered?
I actually try to find a way to take Adaptive to court but it’s pretty impossible as a limited company contractor.
I attend a CAB consultation, I open a case with the government employment service, I write to my professional organization the IEEE who ignore me, of course; there’s a bunch of documentation all over the place on this.
At the risk of endlessly and uselessly defending myself against people who loathe me and everything I do, I won’t detail anymore of their professional-terrorism tactics.
I do a 7-day fast and detox at Sura Detox in Devon which may have been life saving.
Nevertheless, my mind is on a suicide-loop, and the Valium is now exacerbating this, except I’m hopelessly addicted to it.

Dark web live action games that target people to make them commit suicide

I’m beginning to wonder what other forms of evil do porn-addicts get their boners from these days.
I keep thinking of British Jess at the Buddhist retreat centre near Avila at Christmas.
Was she a gone wrong porn-addict?

Looking back, I believe two men may have had intentions of getting me into a sexual relationship at the office. The first man “popped up” on the first day and I just got this awful feeling from him. It had been planned he would sit with us but then he didn’t. A couple of weeks later another guy joins, the web developer, and sits in front of me. I liked him, not romantically obviously, but he seemed like a cool guy. I just wonder about him now… or maybe they were hoping something would happen and then they’d bring him in. He never replied to my messages after I left.
Also, Jo, another developer there was the husband of an Iyengar yoga teacher from Maida Vale, my yoga school. I wonder if he noticed what was going on for me?

Trezor and other stuff¶

I remember this guy visiting us from Trezor.
I had been asked to attend this meeting; no particular reason why, they hated me.
I remember being interested in this curious contraption he had, which I thought was his private key thingumy, but he said it was his vaper.
I’m just wondering. Could I have been sedated at work? Is is possible? Are they THAT bold?
A few weird memories of being totally out of it; explainable in my mind by the miniscule amounts of valium I was taking, like miniscule, online mail order stuff, though.
Totally out of it at my desk.
A weird moment in the women’s, someone brushing past me.
This event with Trezor where afterwards someone is very angry with me for no reason.

December 2018¶

I’m heading off to France for Christmas by car.
I get a huge wad of cash for my trip ready.
It’s in an envelope resting on the top of my handbag.
I haven’t closed my handbag.
I’m using my phone, the camera is operational; anyone with a view from my hacked phone camera will see the wad of cash at the top of my handbag as I’m constantly using the phone with the camera pointed to my handbag sitting on the table in front of me.
I was probably pointing the phone’s camera at the top of my handbag for hours.
Eventually, I leave the house and go outside to the car.
A man is approaching me from the top of the street.
He’s on the pavement, then he sees me and steps out on the road, walking towards me, smiling at me, saying something weird.
I don’t like the look of him, at all.
Black hair, pale skin, medium build, a little overweight, about 45.
He walks towards me and he’s getting really close.
I can’t remember what he’s saying, something ridiculous I told Jan about. It’ll be in the records.
He’s about a metre away from me now, and reaches his hand towards my open handbag which I have hanging on my arm.
It’s very surprising and I feel threatened.
At that moment, my neighbor across from us, Charlie, comes out of his house (which I’m parked right outside).
The man turns and leaves very quickly.
He literally had his hand very nearly in my bag; as if he knew what was in there!
I report the incident to the local community police officer Jan.
She says; oh he was probably just a bit drunk and being friendly!
I think he was going to rob me and he had inside information about the 500+ euros in the top of my bag from his associates who were hacking my phone, seeing the money, and monitoring my every move.
Why not ay?, they probably thought.
Perhaps they made a huge loss on the lack of my suicide after I got sacked from Adaptive and were annoyed with me.