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September 2025

The Red Lion in High Barnet with dad

  • Since I got back in February, dad insisted we went regularly to the Red Lion in High Barnet for the carvery.
  • I usually paid, of course.
  • I started to realize something fishy was going on up there pretty much immediately.
  • Every time I took him up for the carvery dinner, some weird event occurred.
  • For example: the Islamicist display at the table right next to us in March.
  • Or the woman who seems to know me, and dad, in July.
  • He wants to go again.
  • I don’t like going but I take him because he wants to go; I mean, it’s OK, apart from the weird events, but it’s way too much food for me.
  • Anyway, off we go and park close to the pub.
  • We are walking from the car to the pub.
  • In a disastrous error of judgment, for him, dad suddenly needs a wee.
  • He stands in the middle of the pavement, in broad daylight, and pisses on the Red Lion pub’s wall.
  • He even waggles his penis and sprays the urine up and down.
  • He does something even more despicable too. He pulls back his foreskin and it appears he even has an erection while he’s pissing up the wall of the Red Lion.
  • I’m really embarrassed.
  • I stand aside and sort of put my head in my hand.
  • While he’s doing this, a fast, red expensive car speeds up to us noisily, engine growling and screeching.
  • It stops, the driver and passenger look at us for a few moments, then it reverses away and drives off.

Thoughts on this

  • He’s saying “up yours” to the pornographers, for events he hasn’t understood very well.
  • It’s disgusting, I don’t think I’ve ever been so disgusted with someone.
  • A level down, even though in some way he’s happy I’m alive, the constant remains: his daughter is not human nor deserves basic human rights.
  • Repentance - his statement - is the only thing that can save him.
  • I hope they got the whole thing on film, please God.
  • While we’re in the carvery, I see men peering in the window to look at us.
  • Our presence is clearly antagonizing.
  • I tell dad we have to stop coming here, I don’t want to antagonize anyone.
  • After finding out that my dad is likely horribly connected with these people and the porn-gangs of Denia, and that the woman at the Red Lion probably told him to stay away from Lourdes while they finished me off, and I was not finished off; this act, to me, is even more appalling than it already was.
  • And he still let them feed him.

13th Day of Elul, Saturday 6th September

The ultimate purpose of technology

Parenthetically, the ultimate purpose of technology is that it be used for holy matters, as stated: All that the Holy One blessed be He created in this world was solely for His glory, and The only glory is Torah. Thus we see that modern technology is to be used for increasing in the dissemination of Torah.

Although it is possible to utilize it for worldly matters (and even things antithetical to sanctity), this is only because man is given free choice. Indeed, when others use technology for undesirable purposes, Jews must rectify this by using it for holy purposes; and then the sanctity produced is that much greater, coming as it does from previous darkness.

Ref: https://www.chabad.org/therebbe/article_cdo/aid/2537558/jewish/13th-Day-of-Elul-5742-1982.htm

  • This talk feels like it is describing the forgivenet.
  • When there is no reasoning with arrogance and evil, what can you do?
  • Maybe just supply the means for healing and make them available, and leave the rest to God.

Current health

Eyes

  • My eyes remain blurry and painful since July’s poison attack and I’m having a lot of headaches.
  • I can feel my eye pressure is high.
  • I go in for a reading to Vision Express in Tesco’s Colney Hatch Lane and indeed my eye pressure is high.
  • I’m worried about sudden onset glaucoma after the diagnosis of PACS from Rutnin last November.
  • Moorfields has not got back to me since I noticed severe deterioration in my left peripheral and asked for help.
  • I book an eye test at Colney Hatch on 17th September.
  • I explain I’m concerned about glaucoma.
  • The optometrists ask me if I have been hit on the head.
  • My sight prescription has not changed at all; even the peripheral test is OK.
  • I don’t understand it and ask to speak to the optometrist in private.
  • I tell the optometrist Zoha Hemraj I think I have been poisoned.
  • She’s shocked but it seems like my situation and narrow angles make more sense to her now.
  • She tells me she is going to nudge Moorfields for further investigation and I should expect to hear from them.
  • She also advises I tell my GP.
  • I’m reluctant but I make an appointment in any case.

Reform UK conference

  • I attended the Reform UK conference early this month.
  • This was when I really noticed I could not at all look at bright lights.
  • I’d be in the audience, watching the show and listening to the speakers, and in between each person the lights would roll around the conference hall and I literally had to cover my eyes and close them till it was finished.
  • This is another thing that sparked my further concern.
  • I was reminded of the first time I went to the optician about this weird and inexplicable problem, probably sometime in 2013.

Rutland House Surgery Muswell Hill

  • On 18th September I visit my GP.
  • I speak to Dr Shirshana Davis.
  • I tell her I believe I was poisoned; low level and continuously over years at my apartment, and then twice maliciously with the intent to kill at the end of October 2024 and about a month before in France in July this year.
  • I also tell her that all my stuff was toxic when I brought it home from France in February this year as if it had been doused in pesticides or similar and it made me very unwell until I chucked it out or washed it multiple times.
  • I write a timeline of symptoms for her as it is so much to explain.

Timeline 1 Timeline 2 Timeline 3

  • The only thing I missed on here was the snapped rib which happened three times and I believe due to weakened bone mass by poisoning.
  • Also, the fact that since the PACS diagnosis, I have had to stop practicing inversions in yoga, something I have been doing without issue since 2000.
  • Also, a skin lesion on my nose which appeared while living at Carrer Furs and I believe due to using toxic substances on my skin and standing under the shower in the morning where poisons in the water will have accumulated. Hackers mentioned this online to make sure I knew I was being watched. I looked at this lesion a lot in the mirror.
  • I also give her the PACS diagnosis and kidney check result from BKK.
  • She listens and hears me.
  • She suggests immediately the mental health team.
  • I explain that I have no more PTSD at all and that my suicidal depression is completely healed and I have no depression at all either.
  • I explain that something happened to me while I was fighting for my life in Denia in 2023 that unleashed an inner strength I never knew I had.
  • I tell her about my Transformational Touch work with Steve Terrell and how much it has helped me heal from trauma.
  • I also explain that I have asked numerous agencies; police, embassies, etc, for help and I have been ignored by everyone.
  • I tell her I do not feel safe in North London due to this.

Tip

  • RA symptoms in my hands come and go.
  • I expect a good detox will eliminate this, along with a better environment.
  • She tells me to give my notes to the receptionist who will scan them into my file.
  • I do that.
  • As the receptionist is scanning my notes in, she suddenly remarks, “Oh, that’s weird, the scanner’s not working!”
  • Her tone sounds like the scanner always works.
  • I’m unsurprised at this development.
  • I ask her to please get these notes into my file in any way she can.
  • She photocopies them and tells me she’ll do it later.

Yet another weird woman

  • Tiringly, another weird woman is sent to make sure I know my movements are still being watched by UK criminal porn-gangs.
  • She is about the same age as me, a bit overweight, dark black hair, pale skin, short like me.
  • She arrives just after I arrive for my appointment and sits in the waiting room.
  • She states her appointment is not for another hour-and-a-half but thought she’d come anyway because she’s feeling anxious.
  • She quickly launches into a fake speech about nothing; the way they do.
  • I sense darker intentions.
  • I wonder if this is Verity’s weird roommate?

Richard at Newgrange

  • I travel to Dublin for trauma therapy: Transforming Touch.
  • The day before the course starts, on Wednesday 24th September, Steve and I visit the Newgrange monuments.
  • As we’re walking up into the Knowth site, Steve tells me that the weirdest thing has just happened; one of the women on our tour looks exactly like someone who practices TT in the US.
  • Minutes later, after we pass through the small yet significant constructions around the main mound, I see someone I recognize.

Knowth gestationary periods

  • It’s Richard, the man who popped up in Glastonbury way back in 2005 just after I had received the Lockerbie compensation and the porn fatwa was beginning in earnest.
  • The man who had been tasked with stalking me by North London criminal gangs.
  • I’m so startled; I’m staring right at him.
  • It’s his profile, exactly.
  • He’s the right age, about 60.
  • Same height, same build.
  • Everything about the man is Richard, except when I look at him head-on, his face is rounder.
  • I guess that could happen over the years.
  • But then I hear him talk.
  • He has a wild Irish accent and it throws me completely off guard; too wild perhaps though.
  • Richard, although apparently Welsh, had spoken the King’s English, well.
  • He is with a couple of German people, a man and a woman.
  • I can’t figure it out. We see him hugging them from time to time. They’re quite intimate with each other.
  • The three are always deep in conversation.
  • From what I can tell, he seems to be telling them about the myths and legends of the place, as if he knows more than the official guide.
  • I wonder if he’s working as a surreptitious guide.
  • In the queue at the cafeteria, he is right in front of us.
  • It could be Richard, apart from the accent. Could he be putting it on?
  • I ask him; “Are you a guide?”
  • He looks at me and appears to be a bit nervous.
  • He says, grinning, “No, I’m not a guide, I just like talking a lot.”

Healing process

  • On the therapy table I have lain extremely still for the full five years I have been doing the practice; like a stone.
  • In March this year, while doing shares in Jerusalem at Purim, I cried a little, and since then my therapy process changed.
  • I started experiencing eye-twitching very slightly, and, as usual given I had no memory of anything else, I assumed this was coming from experiences in 1989.
  • In June, on an intensive, this eye-twitching became more pronounced.
  • On the course this month, the eye-twitching became quite extreme. It’s as if physical shocks are happening to the body and I’m registering it in the eyes alone.
  • The changes also include fierce high-frequency head-shaking like I’m saying no repeatedly but can’t vocalize or move my body.
  • I see this as confirmation of repeated sedated rape and attempted murder.
  • I’m looking forward to more healing and peace.
  • I guess I might remember a whole bunch of things now… (stated at the time of writing, check commit date).
  • I remain assured whatever it is will be nothing I can’t handle.

Remembering a whole bunch of things

Also at TT training this month…

  • The gangs know I am still of the opinion there was only one man at the conservatory acting as trumpet teacher.
  • In about a week’s time I will remember the full switcheroo scandal at the Spanish music school and start to realize the extent of the scandal outwards into the professional world of technology, international terrorism, and beyond.
  • I realize I was not blinded by poison, I was brain-damaged; I have been looking at the photos of numerous different men for nearly 3 years and my mind only registering one man!
  • Soon, someone will do an impromptu test on brain function and confirm brain injury. He also mentions how stroke victims struggle to identify objects out of context and this sounds like EXACTLY what the porn-gangs of Denia require of their victims.
  • What a scam! You could literally set up one person to be the fall-guy for every crime you do if you brain-damage all your victims!!!!
  • On the course, the gangs (still panicking about my continued survival) I assume, send…
    • A wild and aggressive pro-Pally woman who keeps giving me bear hugs with her giant watermelon earrings swinging freely.
    • A man who makes a pass at me by putting his name badge into an inside pocket of my handbag while it is briefly unattended and I find it when I get to my room.
    • A German woman who keeps calling me Saint Catherine and makes light of the man’s boundary-breaking advance.
  • They sit very close to me in class.
  • It’s all a bit disconcerting.
  • I realize I can’t work with anyone online without informing them I’m hacked by criminal gangs.
  • I also have a feeling if I return to Dublin, in January 2026, I might end up in some sort of Guantanimo situation, or spend the rest of my life on my own in a hotel room somewhere with only a manipulative and lying ChatGPT for company, helping no-one at all.
  • I’d rather risk the devil I know than become a full time lab-rat.